


Stripped

by Jen425



Series: For The Republic [4]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: (duh), Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Anakin Skywalker: Infinite Pain, Anakin is betrayed up until he find out what HE would do to HER, Anakin is not in a good place right now, Force Visions, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, Mind Rape, Minor Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker, Mortis (Star Wars), Poor Anakin, Psychological Torture, Suicidal Thoughts, The Author Regrets Everything, The only rape is mind rape, Torture, all those character tags except the first two are for Mortis, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-22 17:09:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13171422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jen425/pseuds/Jen425
Summary: Stripped. That was the word for it, reduced to nothing piece by piece.(This is a Very Important Fic. Chapter 1 can be skipped if you don't want to read the torture, but chapter 2 is my own personal interpretation of the Mortis Vision, so DON'T MISS IT!)





	1. Stripped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is... the darkest thing that I have EVER written...
> 
> I'm sorry.

Stripped. That was the word for it, reduced to nothing _piece_ by _piece_.

 

First it’s of his hopes. It’s the gut wrenching knowledge that the only woman he ever had or ever would love was the one to put him here. It’s the fact that two weeks go by and, though he could still touch the Force, he could not feel a _single_ Jedi reaching out to him. (Not even his Master, who he'd broken free to call to.) It’s the fact that, when Dooku says that they won’t be found until Dooku wants them to be, the Force agrees. He was completely and utterly _alone_.

 

Then, it was his body. He’d still been trying to count the days, then, so he thints that it was around thirteen days in that his mechanical hand had been taken, and he’d been left to hang by the single hand that remained. (Divested of his arm by the same man twice. It was almost... _comical_.)

 

(The torture had, perhaps, been weaker near the beginning. He’d been electrocuted before, after all. It had burned like Mustafar (and _oh_ but he had had _no idea_ what that truly felt like, yet), but it was set up, quite purposefully, to be temporary, and his naturally-quickened healing had made it bearable…

 

It was four weeks in that it truly began.)

 

It continued, as electro staffs became electro-whips, and the clothes were gone, too. He was tiring, and he knew it. What did Dooku even want? Dooku who stood in front of him when the droids paused, as if waiting. Why? Where did this even lead? He wished so desperately that he knew…

 

Until he didn’t.

 

Next, you see, was his mind. Little sustenance, no sleep short of passing out from the endless pain, and a mind with cracks already forming? He wouldn’t have been able to fight Dooku’s attack even if it hadn’t been simultaneous to the metal rod being soldered to connect with the stump of his right arm. It is, most likely, more painful than losing the arm had been…

 

But the screams of pain come, most of all, from Dooku ripping through his mind, shattering the outermost layer of his shields, and rooting through all of the memories Anakin had thought unimportant, but instead tore him apart as they were pushed aside one by one. Dooku was looking for something, and it was entirely unfamiliar to him as it was ripped from his mind, but it overwhelmed the pain of his body, and the last thing he remembers before passing out is the smug satisfaction in Dooku’s mind as he pulls out.

 

It’s all a blur, from there. Sometimes Dooku attacks his mind, sometimes the droids attack his body, sometimes both at once. About halfway through, the coller goes on, and the shocks are worth it to hide from the Force, which deafened him with his shields up. Every time he screams in pain is worth it to not get lost in the deafening roar of the Force.

 

(It had surprised the Jedi how good he had been at meditation and shielding. He’d been loud and brash since the beginning, but calm and in control while meditating. It was funny, really, that the Jedi used the time to delve deeper into the Force. He’d used it to hide, to build the shields up even stronger. Not one Jedi truly knew what it was like to be deafened by the Force to the point of wanting nothing more but for it to shut up.

 

He had never understood, when to live without the shields he had begun to build himself when he was two was never anything but _loudness_ and _pain_.)

 

The metal welded to his flesh had burned the bone, but it still held on, even as he was moved to an even darker hole and put in archaic, metal shackles. Pain is his life now.

 

He doesn’t know it, yet, but he’s only eight weeks in.

 

Dooku does, he tells him that it’s been ten weeks, and two since he’s been moved. He doesn’t know why this is what he remembers, but it may be because the _true_ pain, the one that stays with him for years, begins the next time Dooku appears, pushing as deep into Anakin’s ripped-apart mindscape as he can go… and finds himself blocked. Anakin lets a smile grace his lips. He doesn’t recognize this… something, in his mind, but it’s kept his captor away from what he wants.

 

Then Dooku shoves past it anyways, and Anakin is assaulted by something he will want to forget more than anything in the world even as he thanks the Force for it.

 

Countless victims, countless cries... It’s all too much to take in.

 

(He locks it back down, and doesn't let Dooku in. It's not much, but the Dark there isn't the same as everywhere else. He knows that Dooku will just move on.)

 

The pain gets worse, after that, as Dooku gets closer and closer to the very center of his mind. He’s dug through innocent memories, through the morals his mom had instilled in him that he hid from the Jedi, through Padme, through Republic secrets, through all of his regrets…

 

Dooku’s rips apart his entire brain down to the very core, and that strange, previously unnoticed… _something_ is finally ripped from his head. It’s relief because now he has nothing left to give, no more worth. He can finally _die_ , and the pain will _end_.

 

(It’s Dark, the thing Dooku’s been slowly, painfully removing from his mind. Is it because of the Sith that the Son had showed him? It had to be...

 

Or maybe it’s just him, and a destiny of evil.

 

He hopes he dies here, before he has a chance to destroy everyone he cares about.)

 

He’s stopped wishing for rescue. Dooku leaves with all of his secrets, and the droids go with him. He’s going to die here, and that’s a good thing. He feels himself fading out…

 

(It’s a day later that Obi-Wan finds him, he doesn’t even realize the other man is there until the familiar ( _safe_ ) Force Signature brushes his mind. Then, all he can do is apologize for things that Obi-Wan has never experienced. He’s _failed…_

 

And he couldn’t even die.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...The Anakin in "Plans" suddenly seems unbelievably sane... I guess that his ability to lie to himself works at a quicker processing rate than I thought (even if it does have a limit).


	2. Memory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My interpretation of what Anakin forgot on Mortis

Anakin's memories had stopped, suddenly. The last thing he remembered was descending into the well of the Dark Side.

 

Now, however, he remembers with clarity.

 

The future, the Son had said, showing him something that was neither memory or dream, but somewhere in the middle.

 

("Know what you will become,” Son had said. What did he become?)

 

He tried to stop it but he still heard it, still saw it. Rebels and allies alike silently begging for mercy, an entire planet reduced to nothing…

 

But that's not what hurt.

 

No, it’s when it gets personal that it hurts.

 

 

_"I won’t leave you!" Ahsoka cries, "Not this time."_

 

_Vader sighs through his breathing apparatus (What had happened to him?), but Anakin Skywalker, he knows, is dead. He lights his red blade, lifting it up to his face, and watches as Ahsoka lights her own. (White. Why are they white?)_

 

 _She should have agreed to join him. (_ Never _.)_

 

_"Then you will die."_

 

 

_Kenobi is easy to kill, now. Old and decrepit from years in hiding, Vader takes his time in this fight. He's careful like Skywalker had not been, long ago on Mustafar. (What happened on Mustafar?)_

 

_Kenobi may still be playing him._

 

_He knows, the instant that Kenobi raises his 'saber, the smirk that Anakin Skywalker had always considered a blessing crossing his face, that he has lost. He has lost and he doesn’t know how yet, but he decides to let it play out._

 

_His red 'saber slices through his former Master…_

 

_All that falls to the ground is a brown robe and a familiar lightsaber, now unlit._

 

_(“If you strike me down then I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine,” Obi-Wan had said. Just what had happened?)_

 

_(“Darth,” Obi-Wan had called him._

 

_He would become a Sith.)_

 

_A boy calls out, a gut wrenching cry of denial that the Force calls ironic, and then a rush of events run together too fast._

  


 

 _A girl that looks like Padme (Princess Leia Organa, he somehow knows. The girl who had resisted the mind probe and his own psionic attack. (Why had he done that?) (How does he know that there’s something_ more _there?)), she’s kissing a handsome smuggler. (That one he knows through instinct and memory. Han Solo, the name, is a mystery.)_

 

_He has them pulled apart._

  


 

_The boy from before, older and more battle-scarred. His son (What?)._

 

_He’s angry. Good. Luke (Padme had been right. It was a boy after all. (How did he know this?)) will make a great Sith, with training._

 

 _Obi-Wan had said that Vader killed Anakin Skywalker. He’s not surprised, that’s just the Jedi way. He… he cuts off his son’s hand. (_ How _could he be so_ stupid _?)_

 

_He tries to set the record straight. Luke jumps. Vader looks down, and Luke begins to merge with Ahsoka, when she had run from Skywalker, oh so long ago. (What had happened? Why had she run?_

 

_...Did he even want to know?)_

  


 

 _Standing in front of a Darksider. (Emperor, Master, Sith…_ Sidious _.) He... has a daughter. (He knows it’s Leia.) Another fight with Luke…_

 

 _Luke is skilled, and Vader is nowhere near as powerful as Anakin Skywalker. He looses. He knows what that means. (Dooku’s terrified face, and the cross of red and blue lightsabers. He shouldn’t, he_ knows _that… he gives in; he kills him.)_

 

_Luke is better than him. He throws his ‘saber to the the ground. Says he won’t turn and declares himself the son of a Jedi. (Anakin had always been a horrible Jedi.) Vader limps back to his Master’s side. Luke is dying, now. Screaming for a man long-dead to save him._

 

_Vader doesn’t move._

 

_(“The Force is strong with you, young Skywalker,” Sidious had said. Why did he sound so familiar?)_

  


 

Younglings _. How could he…_

 

 _It was for Padme, he told himself. Working with the Sith could_ save _her._

 

_(“Master Skywalker! There are too many of them! What are we going to do?”)_

 

_Anakin lights his blade, silent tears forming in his eyes as they died, one by one, by his hands._

 

 _(Padme wouldn’t want_ this _. What was he doing?)_

 

 _(His men, gone from his sight, and Vader is too lost to even notice. Still, he hears the little voice in Vader's mind that_ screams _at Anakin._

 

Fives! _it calls,_ The chips!

 

_...What does that mean?)_

  


 

 _A planet of lava. (Mustafar.) Padme. Obi-Wan? Terrible things? Doesn’t she see that he can_ save her, _give her a galaxy where she can make a real difference? (_ What is he thinking!?!? _Padme loves democracy too much to trade it for absolute power,_ despite _the good she could do with it.)_

 

 _Obi-Wan. Betrayal. She brought him here to_ kill _Anakin. Oh, she_ loves _him? What a lie. He reaches out with the Force, lifting her up on her toes._

 

_“Let her go Anakin!” Obi-Wan cries._

 

_“Anakin… please…” Padme begs._

 

_He drops her onto the floor. It’s all Obi-Wan’s fault! Why does no one understand what he’s doing. The Jedi lie! He’s brought everything that matters to his new Empire! Sidious will die soon!_

 

_Only a Sith deals in absolutes? Very well. Obi-Wan, too must be a Sith._

 

_They fight._

 

_Obi-Wan jumps to shore. What help does the high ground bring in a fight like this. He jumps…_

 

_Pain._

 

 _Desperately, Anakin tries to push himself forwards, push himself up. Above him, Obi-Wan rants about chosen ones and destinies and_ all he can feel _is_ pain _. Obi-Wan never_ truly _cared for him! He was a_ proper **Jedi** _!_

 

_Obi-Wan turns away._

 

_“I hate you!”_

 

_Obi-Wan turns back, briefly, tears in his eyes. (Enough regret to mourn him, but not enough to save him.)_

 

_“You were my brother, Anakin… I loved you.”_

 

 _Obi-Wan walks away, and Anakin_ screams _as the flames consume him._

 

_Obi-Wan continues to walk away._

 

 

 

 _The Chancellor’s office. Anakin runs in, and there’s Windu, reflecting lightning back onto Sidious. Sidious is Chancellor, he knows somehow. (All the powers given to his kind friend and_ more _. What had happened to Palpatine?) Windu wants to kill an unarmed prisoner. Sidious is quickly weakening… both sides are wrong, and Anakin doesn’t know what to do…_

 

_He slices off Windu’s hand. Sidious knocks him out of the window…_

 

 _What has he_ done _?_

 

_Nothing left. Nobody left. The Jedi won’t forgive him for this. Only one person left…_

 

_Padme._

 

_He kneels before Sidious, ready now to do anything, if it would save his wife’s life. He’s named Darth Vader._

 

_(“A powerful Sith you will become,” Sidious says and Anakin wants to laugh. Vader, he knows, is nothing more than a slave.)_

  


 

_The sound of a million voices crying out, and a strange gap in the Force. Leia leans into him on instinct…_

 

_Vader had always hated the Death Star._

  


 

 _Droids fitting his burned body with new mechanical limbs. They’ve used no anesthesia, and Vader_ screams _as each piece of the suit is placed on his burnt remains._

 

_(Inside, the future lays itself out to Anakin. His son, dead. His grandson, Fallen. His daughter… oh how he failed her. A scavenger. A pilot. A defector…_

 

_Their faces merge with the ones he know well, and Anakin just can’t take it anymore.)_

 

_Where is Padme? Had he done it? Had he saved her? Was she alright?  
_

 

_No, he’d killed her._

 

_It’s too much to bear, so, desperately, he pulls himself from his chains, and shouts his denial. She was alive! He’d felt it!_

 

_No…_

 

**_No..._ **

  


 

“Nooooooooo!” Anakin screams as Vader does in his head. He falls to the ground. He will do such terrible things…

 

He does them anyways.

 

(Father erases the memories. Anakin assumes that Son must have done something similar to what happened with Ahsoka…

 

He wasn’t supposed to remember.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay... Anakin/Vader/Vaderkin has always been a bit... unhinged. I'm not sure if he's QUITE this extreme, but... he LITERALLY went form "I have to save Padme!" to "Padme betrayed me so I'm gonna attack her she's totally not crying because of ME!" in less than five minutes, so...
> 
> I happen to headcannon that Force-users strongly connected to the Light have this period of time right after they Fall where the Light tries to resurface, but the fight between each side of the Force inside them drives them into this... not-strictly-Dark madness.
> 
> And Anakin was always volatile.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr [@flaim-ita](https://flaim-ita.tumblr.com/)


End file.
